Phoooiee

Sunday, March 04, 2007

WOW, I'M HAVING TROUBLE BELIEVING THIS

I got a viol student who started a few weeks ago. He's had two lessons. I think I mentioned this before.

I got an email from said viol student several days ago which said (I'll summarize):

"You won't believe this, but apparently I owe $50,000 in back taxes on a recent inheritance from my father. I am selling my instruments and much of my art collection. I would JUST LOVE to sell you my viol for about half of what I paid for it."

I was so stunned, and I feel so bad about jumping at this guy's misfortune, that I hadn't emailed back. He called me today, and I said I got his email. I said that I was very interested in the instrument, but not sure about when I could come up with the money (thinking that a few weeks would probably be too long.) He said, well, that doesn't really matter to me, but what do you think- 6 months or a year or so, would that be ok?

I about fell over and said I thought I could do much better than that. He said he was delighted to be able to sell me the instrument because he knew I wanted one and it was like his contribution to the art world. He said he felt very satisfied with his decision.

So this guy is basically GIVING me $2000 or so. And he's happy about it. And I feel really guilty. Especially since people do this sort of thing around me a lot and I feel like I never develop myself enough to deserve it. I am worried that I won't be able to practice viol enough because of the baby or because I'll get frustrated or something, but most of all I just feel guilty about profiting from my student's big problem.

So then he said, "Well, I'm worried that something will happen to it, so I'd like to drop it off with you in the next few days. We'll worry about payment later."

I kind of don't get it. Did people not notice that I'm mostly not that remarkable? All I do with myself is sit in my house with a baby, exercise, and teach lessons. I don't have a fancy title or anything like that, or give any big, high-exposure performances.

So why are people always trying to help me out this way? Several years earlier, one of my other students lent me $9500 interest-free to buy a cello. Plus I got an awful lot of free money, like $15000 or so, in college in addition to my tuition waiver just to spend on whatever I wanted, for being talented or something, I don't know.

I just feel like I'm not that special and maybe all these people who keep doing this will someday notice that I'm a big impostor, and then it will be very embarassing and terrible.

I can't believe I get a viol though. I've desperately wanted one for 7 years, and I can't believe I actually get one.