I AM NOT A VERY GOOD CRIMINAL
I had my trial today for driving on a suspended license, and I was not very good at it.
I couldn't figure out when I was supposed to stand up or sit down, so I hoped that they wouldn't call me first so I could just copy everyone else. Of course, they called me first, so when I got up there in front of the judge, I just tried to copy the lawyer, who remained standing.
But then, he looked at me expectantly and gestured toward the chair, so I sat down. Unfortunately, that was wrong, and right up there in front of everyone we had to go through this long thing about how I should pull out the chair but remain standing so I was near the microphone.
I don't know what the other people in the courtroom thought of this, but now that I think about it, I guess that most of them were probably too drunk to notice. There were some real quality people in that courtroom.
The lawyer probably thinks I'm a total idiot because I also couldn't remember how old I was or when my child was born, which is normal for me because I don't care about stuff like that, but I'm sure he thought it was dumb.
Also, some other guy asked me if I had a PD and I didn't know what that was.
I almost went into law, too. My LSATs were 99th percentile, but then I just decided that I would keep teaching music lessons instead, because going to law school would be expensive. Probably a good thing, given the fact that I have no idea what is going on when I'm in a courtroom.
Everyone else was there being on trial for driving drunk, while speeding, and resisting arrest and such.
I was found guilty of being bad at filing paperwork, and sentenced to probation before judgment, or PBJ, which is not, in this case, a sandwich. I also have to pay a fine of $57.50. The judge said $100, but the paper they gave me said $57.50, and the court guy I talked to, the one who gave me the paper, he said that was right. I hope I don't mess this up again, but I guess it will be all right, because that's what they said.
I don't think this is a big deal, because all I have to do is avoid driving drunk for a year, and the whole thing goes away. They told me that I can get as many speeding tickets as I like (although I've never gotten a speeding ticket anyway) as well as any other minor traffic offenses.
So I'll have to lay off the alcohol while driving for a while.
Darn.
I couldn't figure out when I was supposed to stand up or sit down, so I hoped that they wouldn't call me first so I could just copy everyone else. Of course, they called me first, so when I got up there in front of the judge, I just tried to copy the lawyer, who remained standing.
But then, he looked at me expectantly and gestured toward the chair, so I sat down. Unfortunately, that was wrong, and right up there in front of everyone we had to go through this long thing about how I should pull out the chair but remain standing so I was near the microphone.
I don't know what the other people in the courtroom thought of this, but now that I think about it, I guess that most of them were probably too drunk to notice. There were some real quality people in that courtroom.
The lawyer probably thinks I'm a total idiot because I also couldn't remember how old I was or when my child was born, which is normal for me because I don't care about stuff like that, but I'm sure he thought it was dumb.
Also, some other guy asked me if I had a PD and I didn't know what that was.
I almost went into law, too. My LSATs were 99th percentile, but then I just decided that I would keep teaching music lessons instead, because going to law school would be expensive. Probably a good thing, given the fact that I have no idea what is going on when I'm in a courtroom.
Everyone else was there being on trial for driving drunk, while speeding, and resisting arrest and such.
I was found guilty of being bad at filing paperwork, and sentenced to probation before judgment, or PBJ, which is not, in this case, a sandwich. I also have to pay a fine of $57.50. The judge said $100, but the paper they gave me said $57.50, and the court guy I talked to, the one who gave me the paper, he said that was right. I hope I don't mess this up again, but I guess it will be all right, because that's what they said.
I don't think this is a big deal, because all I have to do is avoid driving drunk for a year, and the whole thing goes away. They told me that I can get as many speeding tickets as I like (although I've never gotten a speeding ticket anyway) as well as any other minor traffic offenses.
So I'll have to lay off the alcohol while driving for a while.
Darn.
posted by Phoooiee | 1:18 PM
3 Comments:
Well, just think of it this way - the same way of thinking that makes you awkward in a courtroom is probably also what makes you an outstanding musician. Everything has its pros and cons...
Fuckfuckfuck
Mustard. Every likes it. Why don't you put some on a hot dog?
Post a Comment
<< Home