A good reason to have a baby.
One of my friends is trying to decide whether or not she wants kids. So she asked me for some good reasons that someone might want to have a baby.
Here is the reason that she liked the best:
Your children will grow up to be VOTERS. And so will all the children of evangelical Christians. Who tend to have a lot of children. It is essential to the future of the country that people like us reproduce.
Here is the reason that she liked the best:
Your children will grow up to be VOTERS. And so will all the children of evangelical Christians. Who tend to have a lot of children. It is essential to the future of the country that people like us reproduce.
posted by Phoooiee | 5:48 AM
3 Comments:
It's kind of like teaching students but much better!
They also poop a lot and sometimes pee right in your eye. If you scream loud enough when the pee hits you by surprise sometimes the baby will stop peeing and laugh at you.
If the baby gets on your nerves, I've found that sealing it inside a standard black 40-gallon trash bag, then swinging the bag around above your head as fast as you can for a minute or two clears that right up! All you have to do is remove the baby when you're done, and throw the rest. The way it works is that the arm-bag-baby assembly acts as a crude centrifuge, separating the baby's soul into its fundamental elements - good and evil. The good, being heavier with the weight of difficult moral decisions and the like, will stay inside the baby, while the evil, being the much easier path and therefore possessing less inertia and subsequently less mass, will be pulled out of the baby, toward the lining of the bag. This part, typically appearing as a chunky, smelly substance not unlike vomit, can be left behind. Don't be alarmed if there is red matter in the evil - that's not blood, it's an evil spirit, red with its inner hell-fire.
Let me know how it works for you!
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