I finally did it. But not on purpose.

I farted in Pilates class. For years, I have been worrying that while I am doing all these ab exercises and leg lifts, I will fart and be very embarassed. Now it finally happened, and I didn't even care.

I don't think anyone noticed, but I will never know for sure.

Then I went to the Childwatch room to pick up my kid, and for some reason the lady who was holding him started explaining to me that she didn't breastfeed because she thought she didn't have enough milk for her baby, and I never know what to say when people start talking about how they didn't breastfeed, so I did what I usually do, and shared information.

The information that I shared was about how that wasn't true, because milk supply increases with the baby's appetite etc, which wasn't the right thing to say, but since I didn't know what to say, that was what I said. I need to figure out what to say to people when they have this conversation with me.

Then, as I was sitting there, some vapid girl of about six walked up next to me, and fixed her gaze upon my water bottle. I got a little nervous, since they had already told me that other children had been sucking on my kid's pacifier, and his toy elephant, so I asked her, "Are you looking at my water bottle?"

I had hoped she would notice the pronoun.

She didn't. She just picked up my water bottle and began, well, using it for its intended purpose.

I said, "You know, that is my water bottle, and I would rather you didn't drink from it."

Child continues sucking. So I forced it from her lips and went on my way. I was dumbfounded.

So I went home and put my water bottle in the dishwasher.